Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Estrogen Moment (Guys, you should sit this one out!)


What the Hell? Is this a joke that God placed on all women just to get back at us for tempting Adam with that apple Oh So Long Ago? Talk about holding a grudge!

We all hear about the things "The Change" may make our bodies do. Things like hot flashes, mood swings, crying jags. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah! Those I can deal with. The thing that is really annoying me is being off the regular cycle of events. Aw, c'mon, you know what I mean.... Aunt Flo, The Monthly Gift (hahahaha!), my little visitor, on the rag, my period. Why does everyone beat around the bush instead of just calling it what it is-- menstruating? ( Pun was NOT intended, but so funny I have to leave it in!)

I was never a strict 21 or 28 day gal; but I knew it would start within a certain three day time frame, and always right when I woke. Now, I never know when or where my cycle will start. Nor do I know if it will be light on day one like it had for nearly 30 years, or if I will be running to the toilet every hour and a half. Is it going to last three days or seven, or my standard five?

I remember this is how it all began. Not sure when IT would happen each month. It sucked then, and it sucks now.

I don't think it should be this way. I think the female system should run regular, then stop, Just like that. One month Aunt Flo visits, then she is gone forever. Not this little game of "Surprise! I know it has only been 19 days, but I thought I would drop in a bit early! And you thought it was safe to wear your new undies!"
Or, just as bad-- the waiting game of "OK, body, it has been 30 days... I've been wearing liners for the last 10, dammit. Just show up so we can get this over with, already!"

I'm ready for it all to be done with. Sure, passing through menopause is that first stage to "getting old",a rite of passage that turns us middle aged women into old ladies.... but for Me? I am just looking forward to the freedom.
Freedom of not spending money on Kotex, or Tampex, or Stayfree.
Freedom to wear white or light colors whenever I feel like it.
Freedom to know my new pair of expensive panties are not going to be ruined.
Freedom to sleep soundly on my new 1000 count linen sheets (not that I have them, but should I ever have the desire to go buy some....!)
Freedom from the ups and downs of PMS.

Well, you get the idea.

Sooooo, if any of you men DID read this, and I seem a bit cranky these past few months, now you know why. I don't know how long this will be gong on, so I guess you all should just get used to for the time being! Don't even think of patting me on the back and telling me you understand.... there is no way in Hell that you do (unless you had a sex change).
Just smile and pretend nothing is wrong.
I'll know you are pretending, but I won't have to kill you and bury you out back in the field! *evil grin*


Rock Chef said...


All very familiar...

Mrs RC recently had a time when she was 2 weeks/2 weeks. Not fun!

Jamie D. said...

I'm not there yet, but I deal with most of those things monthly anyways (even the hot flashes & irregularities - I can't remember 2 consecutive months in my entire life that my flow started when it was supposed to). I can't tell you how many times I've considered going to the doctor and telling him to just rip it all out, and let me do the menopause thing so it will all be over. They don't call it "the curse" for nothing! Unfortunately, I have a long ways to go yet. It did help to stop using disposable products...maybe the bleach was getting to me.

I need to get some more soy this week, and was considering trying black cohash as well...want me to pick some up for you? ;-)

Hang in there...I know that doesn't really help, but I hope it's over for you soon.

Michele said...

GRC-HS... Your abrevated name is getting too long! I'll just call you Hot Stuff from now on! heehee ANYWAYS, Bad for you? Bad for her? Bad because there was no, how did you put it?-- ahhh, "marriage"? LOL

Jamie: Soy? Considering trying black cohash? OK, I know what soy is, I even know what it looks like as it grows (having lived in Illinois for a few years). What on God's green Earth is Black Cohash?! Sounds like something my 20 year old might be smoking on a Saturday night! Does it help with womanly stuff?? Please Enlighten us.

Rock Chef said...

Bad for all of those reasons, but especially bad for her! She ended up with anaemia from the blood loss.

Just call me RC, the other bits come and go.

Montana Mountain Man said...

Ah, growing older. Just think, you'll soon be trading Tampons for Depends!

How are the hot flashes?

No, I've never had to deal with any of it, but had a wife and daughter, plus I used to teach sex ed to 5th grade girls (along with the school nurse at my side).

Lelainia N. Lloyd said...

Hi Michelle,
I wanted to email you privately. I just saw your post to my blog. Please let me know if I can help you with anything MS related-I know when I was being diagnosed it was kinda scary and I had a million questions. I would be happy to help. And I am sorry you've got to go through this, but it is good to know one way or another what you're dealing with.

My email is tatterededge (at) shaw (dot) ca


Lelainia N. Lloyd said...

Oh and I wanted to tell you we've got alot in common and that I LOVE Montana-I've travelled there several times and it's beautiful. The people there are super nice and so down-to earth.

Jamie D. said...

Sorry Michele - just finally made it back here to read today's post.

Soy is an estrogen mimicker - it's not estrogen, but it *behaves* like estrogen in the body. It's different for every woman, but for me, if I drink soy milk or take a vitamin with soy or something the week I'm PMSing, it seems to level out my estrogen, and improves everything from my attitude to my cramps to my flow. Do an online search for "soy & menopause", and you'll be surprised at all the information that comes up. I can't take it the rest of the month, because it causes breakthrough bleeding if I take too much, but as I said - every woman is different. I can actually manipulate my periods with it to a certain extent - move them up a week if I need to, just by drinking soy milk or taking a pill form (I prefer to just drink soy milk whenever possible - seems more natural).

Black cohash and Don(g?) quai are both chinese herbs you can get at any health food store. They're also used for aiding with menopause/PMS symptoms for some women, but you do have to be careful with them, as they can be quite strong. Again, I'd suggest doing an internet search - there's tons of information out there on how they can help with your symptoms.

Soy is relatively safe - I'd start by picking up a pint of soy milk at the grocery store, and just seeing if that helps at all. You'll have to play with the amounts a little, but it does help a *lot* of women with bad PMS/menopause symptoms.

ZenPanda said...

I will say I am not looking forward to "the change" but I have already taken care of this annoying part. I will say it a lot- hysterectomy is the BEST thing I ever did for myself.

I hope you find what works for you & get through this time without TOO much of the bad.