What does that mean?
Well, I don't really know to tell you the truth. All I know is I am totally unmotivated to do anything. I haven't been writing. I haven't been keeping up with my blogging friends. I haven't been reading any of the many "to be read" books laying around my house. I haven't even kept up on housekeeping (the days I am home, anyway). Even my garden is feeling the effects, but I haven't killed it!
I get up and go to work...then leave with no plans to do anything or go anywhere besides home. Once I am home, I plop my butt in front of my home computer and play mindless games, mindless Internet surfing, or mindless chatter on Facebook. I haven't cooked for myself in over a week, choosing to either forage around the kitchen or grab fast food. My laundry has piled up... most of it clean, just heaped in baskets on the bedroom floor. My fridge needs a good cleaning. My floors all need vacuumed and mopped. I have clutter sitting all over the house, and a layer of dust on top of it all!
I recognize all that needs to be done, but I just turn my back to it. It's not that I am being lazy (or maybe I am?). I'm not depressed about anything (or life in general). I just don't feel like doing it. A pouty little voice in my head says "I don't wanna, so I'm not gonna!" I tell myself that I'll do it later, or the next day. No motivation, no desire. Surprise, Surprise! It hasn't gotten done.
Sometimes I wish I lived closer to town and I had drop in visitors! That would give me motivation to kick myself in the ass and clean, at least. Once the house is clean, I am sure all my other simple pleasures would fall into place. I hope so, anyway! Anyone want to come visit so I can give this idea a try? :-)
Maybe I am all off kilter because my weekends have been too busy? I haven't had a Saturday morning to dedicate to housekeeping in a few weeks now. I'm not complaining.... I have been loving the idea of cabin sitting for Albert. The forest is so peaceful, and the cabin cozy. I am ecstatic that I get two more weekends up on the Continental Divide before giving the keys back. The manual labor of cutting, splitting, and stacking firewood feels good to the body and gives me a sense of accomplishment. I will write about this experience in another post. I need time to put all of the feelings into words.... and decide which photos to post out of the many that I have taken!
Maybe the juxtaposition of the two lifestyles is what is causing this strange funk I am in? Only time will tell.